Learning from a Mistake, the Hard Way

I seriously thought about not writing this post. I mean, who would know, right? I could have just skipped this one and gone on talking about my next goals or another nutrition/fitness tip. But, then not only would I be cheating you (those who read) but I would be greatly cheating myself. As much as I hate to admit things like this, this is where I will become stronger. A couple months ago I wrote about deciding not to do the bikini competition in September. I was 2 weeks out and I was not ready. Or I should say my "bikini body" was not ready. It was a difficult decision but one I was OK with.

I knew I was going to work my tail off and do a bikini competition on December 6th.

And I did.

I worked and trained and dedicated all my "training energy" to my December 6th comp. Well 2 days before the comp I had to make a decision. Was I (or my body) ready to hit the stage in a bikini and be judged?

Sadly, that answer is "No" and I had to decide not to compete for this one either.

This was taken on Friday, Dec 5th. I am going to admit, I don't look bad. I will even say I think I look pretty damn good, but not "bikini competition" good and there is a huge difference.

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  To say I feel like a complete and utter failure is an understatement. During my pregnancy I had decided on a bunch of goals to reach and get me back into "pre-baby body" shape and I have hit them all. And, like had have said previously, I NEED goals to work towards to keep me going. I decided to set my goals at doing more shows. So why am I failing and deciding a second time in a row NOT to do a comp? Especially so close to the show?

Simple answer...I got fancy.

When I say "fancy" I don't mean with my training?

No, my training was on par, but fancy with my nutrition.

During the 8 months leading up to my first comp, my coach and I kept it simple. Lean protein, veggies and post workout carbs with "Reward meals" here and there. Was it boring as hell?

YES!

Did it work?

HELL YES!

But, after my second comp, I talked with my coach about my future goals and we decided to switch things up a bit nutrition wise. Then when that seemed to not work, we decided to switch it up even more. It just wasn't working. I also believe my body has been under so much stress from the training and all the dieting throughout the year that nothing at this time would have worked.

So, as I said above, I decided to not compete.

(For those of you who are unfamiliar with stress, or I should say overstressed, on the body, it can lead to increases of cortisol in the body which in turn leads to belly fat. This belly fat is extremely hard to get rid of while your body is under this stress.)

So what now?

Well, I will say I took this past weekend to sulk a little, I ate pizza, ice cream and some cookies.

Remember...I am an emotional eater. LOL!

I took the time to really decide WHAT I want to do. Do I want to try again and go for another show? Do I want to do all that training and dieting again? I'll be honest...I don't know.

Of course I'm going to train, I just don't know what for right now. I have some ideas, but I'm going to give it some thought. Right now I have about a month that I will not be able to train heavily.

I will be having a surgery in about 1.5 weeks (nothing serious...just cosmetic) so I will be taking that time to think about what I want to do. I can tell you I WILL get back on that stage, just don't know if I want that to be soon or this time next year or maybe even 2016.

So basically all of that is one long, drawn out way of saying "This is what I learned..."

1. Use the K.I.S.S method. KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID!!!  Everyone wants to do the "next big thing" whether it be diet or training. If you are getting results, why look someplace else?

2. It's not fun to fail (and yes that is what I did) but you need to own up to those failures and figure out WHY you failed. I did and now I'm working on getting back to my success.

3.  Keep going. By the time Friday morning rolled around I was done. I wanted to nothing to do with training or eating healthy or living a "healthy lifestyle"(like I said...I sulked). But I know that if I quit now, I would never know if I could get back on that stage.

Over the next 4 weeks I am making a commitment to myself to blog weekly, if not more. I need to make this commitment to strive to be better even when I can't be at my best.